Yusho Race (A Poker Face Parody)

As some of you may recall, I have not had the best luck when it comes to the prediction series. Though I did win Natsu, I had previously lost Aki, Kyushu, and Hatsu. My Kyushu punishment was to transform a verse or two of a popular song and make it sumo based. Additionally, I had to sing said lyrics over the podcast. For those of you who tuned in, you know I went a little overboard and decided to transform the whole song instead. Below are the verses for Yusho Race! (A Poker Face Parody)

Original Song is Poker Face by Lady Gaga.

Next time you Karaoke to Poker Face just remember… Matta Matta!

~Mak
____________________________________________________________________________________________

Matta Matta
Matta Matta
Matta Matta
Matta Matta
Matta Matta

I wanna hold’em ’till the gyoji takes is place
Star’em, snare’em, flare’em hit that tachiai with grace (I love it)
Honbasho matches, badass rikishi from the start
But fall behind your betters as your yusho falls apart

Oh noooo Oh nooo Oh noooo oh nooooooo
Don’t have the heart, bad move from the start
Oh noooo Oh nooo Oh noooo oh nooooooo
Don’t have the heart, bad move from the start

Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi
Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi

Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta
Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta

I hit the clay with an Okurinage
Okuridashi’s lot more fun without me (don’t love it)
Hatakikome use the shoulder, back, and arm
But Fumidashi’s got to be the worst move of the art

Oh noooo Oh nooo Oh noooo oh nooooooo
Don’t have the heart, bad move from the start
Oh noooo Oh nooo Oh noooo oh nooooooo
Don’t have the heart, bad move from the start

Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi
Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi

Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta
Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta

Can’t do Izori or Tottari
Sabaori or Ashitori
Got no lovin, so I’m bummin
I keep trying, won’t be lyin, showin sick skills at this rhyming
But that basho, is the hot show
Grab your chusin and don’t be pushin
Soldout shows be watching dohyos
Rankin’ Makuuchi or the Juryos

Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi
Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi
Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi
Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi
Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi
Can’t get by, can’t reach my, no I fall in the yusho race
He’s not a badass rikishi

Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta
Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta
Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta
Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta
Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta
Yu yu yu yusho race, yu yu yusho race
Matta Matta

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Nagoya Banzuke Prediction

I’ve decided to try my hand a predicting the banzuke for the upcoming Nagoya Basho. As someone who has watched sumo for a little under 2 years and having never tried this before I feel that this will be the definitive banzuke prediction you will find on the internet. Like I said on the podcast if I get more than two spots incorrect on this list I will consider this whole thing a complete and utter failure.

Continue reading “Nagoya Banzuke Prediction”

Natsu 2018 Recap

And just like that the basho is over and our long vigil til the next one begins. It was a great time though, and we break down our favorite parts. We have a special news bulletin at 39:45 and letters from some very special fans at 1:07:43.

Join the party by leaving us a message at 805-613-SUMO (7866)

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Music by David Hall via SoundClound and sound effects by mansardian via Freesound

Bonus Episode 9: USA Sumo

For most of our listeners, sumo is too far away to ever see live. So what about sumo happening closer to home? Luckily there is a huge yearly tournament right here in the US of A. We interview USA Sumo’s Andrew Freund to learn more. Check out usasumo.com for more details on May 12th’s USA Sumo Open, streaming on YouTube.

*Sorry for the occasional quality issues, Skype isn’t perfect*

Music By David Hall via SoundClound

Direct Download Link

Fantasy Sumo League: Haru 2018

*Spoilers through day 15/end of basho*

Haru basho is complete and the results are in for our fantasy league. Our guest this tournament was Molly, who provided us with last month’s best sumo/valentine’s pun: “Who does the sumotori go to for love advice? Cherub-maru!” 

Keep an eye out for our next contest if you’d like to join us in May.

Each player picked 5 rikishi from makuuchi and one from juryo. Before the results, here’s the scoring we used:

Continue reading “Fantasy Sumo League: Haru 2018”

Haru 2018 Midway

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*Spoilers through day 6*

Just like this basho, nobody knows who will make it through this podcast. We manage to hold it together just long enough to get through our thoughts. Check out a trailer for an upcoming film at 27:02 and leave us a message at our new Google Voice number, 805 – 613 – SUMO!

Music by David Hall and AKnewGod via SoundCloud