Fantasy Sumo League: Haru 2018

*Spoilers through day 15/end of basho*

Haru basho is complete and the results are in for our fantasy league. Our guest this tournament was Molly, who provided us with last month’s best sumo/valentine’s pun: “Who does the sumotori go to for love advice? Cherub-maru!” 

Keep an eye out for our next contest if you’d like to join us in May.

Each player picked 5 rikishi from makuuchi and one from juryo. Before the results, here’s the scoring we used:

Win 1
Kachi-Koshi 2
Make-Koshi -2
Yusho 5
Jun-Yusho 3
Kin-Boshi 2
Special Prize 3

With that in mind, let’s see how everyone did.

Bringing up the rear is Ryan. His funny team name was ruined by our adding of one juryo competitor to the team, but he made do. This poor team had nothing but Tochinoshin going for it.

THE FAT FIVE FEATURING JURYO
RYAN TOTAL: 33
TOCHINOSHIN 15
TAKAKEISHO 1
HOKUTOFUJI 4
TOCHIOZAN 3
CHIYONOKUNI 5
TOBIZARU 5

Doing a good bit better was Mak and The Land Whales. Mak had a fairly balanced team but was dragged down by his juryo pick and Chiyomaru (despite ‘Maru’s two ozeki wins).

THE LAND WHALES
MAK TOTAL: 47
ICHINOJO 11
TAMAWASHI 11
CHIYOMARU 4
ASANOYAMA 10
AOIYAMA 10
AMAKAZE 1

In a respectable 3rd place was Jake and his team, “Somewhere over the Endo.” Always with the puns… At least the team’s namesake help carry them to a decent finish.

SOMEWHERE OVER THE ENDO
JAKE TOTAL: 59
MITAKEUMI 5
ENDO 14
YOSHIKAZE 5
YUTAKAYAMA 12
IKIOI 13
TAKANOIWA 10

In a race that came right down to the wire, our runner up is Flyric and Goeido’s Moment. It was almost Goeido’s moment, but it wasn’t (like oh so many basho). Kakuryu was the real hero on this team but he was just not enough.

GOEIDO’S MOMENT
FLYRIC TOTAL: 65
KAKURYU 20
GOEIDO 11
ABI 12
DAIESHO 11
HIDENOUMI 1
MITORYU 10

And that means the winner is our guest, Molly and the Hair Bears! A couple hairy standouts led her to a narrow but final victory.

THE HAIR BEARS
MOLLY TOTAL: 71
TAKAYASU 17
RYUDEN 10
SHOHOZAN 10
KOTOSHOGIKU 4
KAISEI 20
KYOKUTAISEI 10

Here’s a few words from our champion:

Dear Grand Sumo Breakdown,

If life has taught me anything, it’s that a winner’s speech should be full of thanks. So here goes:

  • Firstly, thanks to Grand Sumo Breakdown for the opportunity to beat them in sumo fantasy! Hardly any of my friends have won a sumo fantasy tournament and I’m sure many are jealous.
  • Thanks to my husband for helping me come up with some of the Valentine sumo puns.
  • And, most importantly, thanks to the rikishi in my fantasy team, The Hair Bears. They include: the man who might actually be a bear – Takayasu, the Brazilian surprise performer – Kaisei, the man who almost blew a great tournament start – Shohozan, the man who rallied after an awful tournament start – Ryuden, the weak link in the Hair Bear team – Kotoshogiku and the juryo man – Kyokutaisei.

Winner’s speeches also typically insult the losers, but that seems like a lot of work. So I’m just going to make a blanket statement that you guys smell like corn and disappointment.

To all the fans out there, I highly recommend trying to win one of these competitions and participate in fantasy sumo. Sure, you don’t actually win anything, not even a fat stack of envelopes…but the guys are welcoming and it’s a lot of fun.  

Your Haru Fantasy Winner,

Molly

Keep an eye out for our next contest on Facebook and Twitter if you’d like to be the next to crush us in our own game and check out the link below for our full spreadsheet.

Fantasy Sumo Spreadsheet

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